I still ask myself if I did the right thing
when I abandoned his floating city
And I don't mean only for the work
fact is, a friend like that a real friend
you won't meet one again
If you just decide to hang up your sea legs
if you just want to feel something more solid beneath your feet
and if then you no loner hear the music of the gods around you
But, like he used to say
You're never really done for as long as you got a good story
and someone to tell it to
Trouble is
nobody'd believe a single word of my story
It happened every time
Someone would look up and see her
It's difficult to understand
There'd be more than a thousand of us on that ship
Traveling rich folks, immigrants and strange people, and us
Yet there was always one
One guy alone who would see her first
Maybe he was just sitting there eating or walking on the deck
Maybe he was just fixing his pants
He'd look up for a second. A quick glance out to sea and he'd see her
Then he'd just stand there rooted to the spot, his heart racing
And every time every damn time, I swear
he'd turn to us, towards the ship towards everybody and scream
America
The Legend of 1900
New York
The one who sees America first
There's one on every ship
And don't be thinking it's an accident
Or some optical illusion It's destiny
Those are people who always
have that precise instant stamped on their life
And when they were kids you could look into their eyes
and if you looked carefully enough you'd already see her
America
And I've seen a few Americas
Six years on that ship five crossings a year
Europe, America and back always soaking in the ocean
When you stepped on land
you couldn't even piss straight in the john
It was teady. The john, I mean
But you'd keep bobbing like an idiot
You can get off a ship all right But off the ocean
I was just closing
What can I do for you?
When I boarded, I was 24 years old
And I only cared about one thing in life
Playing the trumpet
I'm selling it
Conn
Not bad
Best brass money can buy
Six pounds, ten shillings Best I can do
That horn's my whole life, mister
Even being a nobody
has got to be worth more than twenty lousy bucks
It that's how things are, I suppose it's barely worth half a crown
Shut the door when you leave please
Okay, pops
you win
You just bought yourself a piece of musical history
Now if you want my advice
got out, treat yourself to a decent meal
At least let me play it one last time
Young man I don't have time to waste
All right
Hurry up, then
I'm closing
Thank you
Two peas in a pod, wouldn't you say
It's the music you were just playing
What is it?
It doesn't have a name
Just a handful of people have had the privilege of hearing it
That style. I was wondering since this morning, but...
I can't work out who this amazing piano player is
I don't think you ever heard of him
Who is he?
If I told you this pianist never existed
I wouldn't be lying
I don't like secrets
Come on now, Yank who the devil is playing?
That's my secret
It was the first year of this frigging century
as defined by an unknown colored coal stoker on the Virginian
Fucking rich-ass bastards Can't lose nothing
but cigarette butts and dirty-ass handkerchiefs
Can't lose no watch
not even a beat-up Elgin or a sorry-ass cufflink
What am I talking about? Not even a fake fucking ring
Look here
A whole cigar
Must've been somebody poor at the party
Look at this shit
Nasty fucker
Damn rich. Don't forget nothing unless they owe you some money
What in the scuts you doing here?
"T.D. Lemons"
Howdy do there, Lemon
Immigrant bastard
You said it That's the way the immigrants do it
Have a baby on the ship
and then leave on board another mouth to feed
And, like that, avoid trouble with the immigration office
What's a boy like him going to be when he grows up?
Another immigrant
Don't pay those bastards no mind Lemon
Go on, lap it up, boy
This one they left in first class on top the piano
They are hoping some rich guy will come
and stick a silver spoon in his mouth
And who does the little ape get instead?
A poor coal stoker
Someoe is taking you for a sucker, Danny
They have the fun You have the misery
Fuck poverty
You stinking sewer rats
T.D. was wrote on that box. Any of you shitheads know what that means?
I forgot. You all can't read
It means, "Thanks, Danny." "Thanks, Danny"
They left him for me and I'm gonna keep him
Rest of you all can go fuck yourselves
Danny, what are you going to call the nino?
Hell, I ain't think about that
To start off I'm going to name him after me
Danny Boodman
Then I'll put "T.D." in the middle
Iike rich folks puts that in the middle, don't you think?
That give it class, to put that in the middle, don't you think?
All fucking lawyers gots initials in the middle of their names
Well, my lawyer was Jonathan PTK Wonder
My son grow up to be a lawyer I swear I'll kikk him myself
But the boy's name is still going to be Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon
He ain't the son of no fucking duke, Danny
You found him on a Tuesday Call him "Tuesday"
You ain't as dumb as you look colored boy
I found him the first month
of the first year of this frigging new century
So I calls him: Nineteen Hundred
Nineteen Hundred? But that's a number
It was a number, now it's a name
Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Nineteen Hundred
Danny, your little bambino is not so happy
Come on, hurry. Hurry up Don't worry, your mama's here
Damn. How can something that small shit so much?
And that's how little Nineteen Hundred grew up
Inside that cradle as big as a ship
But since Danny was afraid they'd take him away
on account of some business concerning documents and visas
the boy lived his early years
always hiding in the belly of the Virginian
Okay, now try one for yourself
Put your finder up here against these words
so the letters can't run off on you
"Man"
All right, keep going
"Go"
Go on
"Ma"
Just a little bit more
"Ma"
Boy, you read like a god, Lemon
Now go on, put them all together
kind of like them boiler valves Come on
"Man... go...Mama"
Mango Mama. All right. Deep going
Yank...My...Chain
Danny, why are you laughing so much
Because these are names of horses Don't that make you laugh?
I"m just crazy about these horses' names. Look at this one here
"Happy Hoofers"
Listen to this
"Sassy Lassy"
And this one
"Red Hot Mama"
What's a mama, Danny?
A mama?
A mama's a horse
A horse?
Racehorse
Matter of fact, you know what I say Mama's the best horse in the world?
Thoroughbred You bet on a mama, you always win
"Tano D'Amato
The King of Lemons"
Dad, put your finger here and read
T.D. doesn't mean "Thanks, Danny"
Who's this pansy ass?
That's enough reading for tonight
Too much reading is bad for you
What else is bad, Danny?
Everything off the Virginian is bad
Everything
They got sharks on the land they eat you alive
You keep away from they, you hear?
Danny, what's an orphanage?
Well, a orphanage is like a great big prison
where they lock up folks that ain't got kids
So if I wasn't with you they would put you in an orphanage?
You got that right, little Lemon
Night-night
Watch out, Danny
Roll over. Roll him over
My God. Doctor
Call the doctor. Get the doctor
Danny, you bloody cow. Talk to me
Ain't nothing but a pat on the back, boys
"Holy Shoot...
and Times Were Good
was disqualified
"Saucy Bossy"
It took him three days to go toes up, old Danny
He let go on the sixth race in Chicago
Drinkable Water by two lengths over Vegetable Soup
and five over Blue Foudation
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil for Thou art with me
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me"
"Thanks Danny"
In the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost
Amen
Music
Nineteen Hundred was eight years old then
He'd made the trip between Europe and America
about fifty times, I imagine
The ocean was his home
He never set foot on dry land Never
Though he'd seen it from the ports a hundred times
But he never got off the boat
Problem was
as far as the world was concerned he didn't even exist
There wasn't a city, a parish a hospital, jail or baseball team
that had his name any place
He didn't have a country, he didn't even have a birth date. No family
He was eight years old but officially
he had never even been born
"No Entry"
Captain. Captain, wake up
What's his name?
Nineteen Hundred
Not the song, the boy
Nineteen Hundred
Like the song
Nineteen Hundred, all of this is entirely against the regulations
Fuck the regulations
But I don't understand
what the record has to do with any of this
This record shouldn't exist
The only existing matrix was destroyed right after it was cut
This is a matrix
Quite handy for on-the-spot recordings, that sort of business
How did you get your hands on this?
I spend the better part of the day
putting the bits and pieces together
I found them by accident. Hidden inside one of those two pianos
I bought them from a second-hand dealer
They've emptied out an old hospital ship down at Plymouth
It's over there, mate
Slow down not so fast with that pulley
Easy up there, easy
Watch that! These aren't bananas, you know
Where are you from? Liverpool
What do you do? I'm a barber
Sign him on Thanks very much
Next. What's your trade?
I'm a carpenter. A good mechanic
Get out
What do you do?
I play the trumpet
We've already got musicians on board. Next
Where the hell is he going?
What's that? I don't know
When you don't know what it is it's jazz
It was the happiest day of my life
All those people hope in their eyes
The goodbyes, the sirens
And that big floating world starting to move
It felt like one big party A huge bash, just for me
But just three days later, the ocean got tired of the festivities
Hey, Conn?
What's the matter?
Lose your sea legs?
YOu're the new trumpet man aren't you? And you blow a Conn
Come with me I have a cure for your misery
Follow me
Take the brakes off, please
That's crazy
Trust me. Just take the brakes off
Hop on next to me
What are you, some kind of nut case
You better get on now or you never will
Tell me something do you have children?
They'll lock you up in the orphanage one of these days
He's nuts
Oh, mama
I see you know your horses
Just a litte
Good man
Good evening, Captain
Care for a ride?
Tell me again how big the fucking window was
It was a big fucking window
We're going to be shoveling coal on this ship till eternity
No shit
Least you know what you'll be doing when you grow up
Conn
You're from New Orleans, right?
How'd you know that?
I love that town
Really? I haven't been there in a while?
In winter, it's beautiful
And in March
you can always count on one afternoon
when you least expect it
the fog slides in
a milky barrier
hangs just below the street lamps
It cuts everything off
Iike a white blade. And it's magic
Houses lose their top floors
trees lose their branches
St. Louis Cathedral loses its spires
People passing by they lose their heads
So from the neck up everything disappears
All you can see in Jackson Square
is decapitated bodies stumbling around
bumping into each other saying "How's your mama and them?"
That's it Too bad it doesn't last long
How do you know all these things?
You know ever since I came on board
I been hearing a lot of talk about a guy
He's supposed to have been born on this ship
and never been off it since
Crazy story
Twenty years without ever setting foot on land?
Twenty seven
They say this guy makes music that's never been heard before
I've heard of him too
First off I thought you were the guy
But then something didn't add up
I figured: if he's Nineteen Hundred
how could he know New Orleans so well?
Because you've been to New Orleans
If I told you I'd never set foot in that town, would you believe me?
Whoever you are
Max Tooney
Gald to meet you
How we doing?
We're supposed to blow it up
not wait for it to be eaten by the fishes
You're not going to blow up a goddamn thing
because my best friend is on this ship
You'll all be responsible for murder
Get him out of here! Do whatever you want, but get him off my case
I'm not making this up and I'm not crazy
If I tell you there's a man aboard the Virginian
Jesus Christ, it means there's a man aboard the Virginian
We cleaned that scuttle from stem to stern
Not even doorknobs were left Only dynamite. Dynamite
How can you be so sure that's a man on board?
If you've any proof, out with it
Because I'm the horse's arse who has to throw that switch
I'm sure he's there
I spent the best years of my life on the Virginian
End of line
All right! Run it down
What the hell do you think about when you're playing?
Where does your mind go when you hit the keys?
Last night I was in a beautiful country
Women had perfume in their hair Everything glowed
And it was full of tigers
He traveled. And each time he ended up someplace different
In the heart of London, on a train in the middle of the country
on the edge of a giant volcano in the biggest church in the world
counting the columns and staring up at the crucifixes
He traveled
Hey, Kid, give us a good tarantella
And you show me how a tarantella goes paisa
America
Why the hell don't you get off?
Just once? One time?
See the world for yourself
with your own eyes?
You ever think about it? You could do anything you wanted to
People would go crazy for you
You could make beaucoup bucks, man
Get yourself the finest house
Get yourself a wife
Why not?
God knows you can't spend the rest of your life
traveling back and forth like some yo-yo
The world is out there
Nothing but a gangplank to cross
And what's a gangplank? A few stupid steps
Christ, everything is waiting at the bottom of those steps
Why don't you just do it
one time?
Why don't you just get off?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
I think land people
waste a lot of time wondering why
Winter comes and you can't wait for summer
Summer comes and you live in dread of winter
That's way you never tire of traveling
Always chasing someplace far away
where it's always summer
Doesn't sound like a good bet to me
Hold it! Stop everything
Forgive me for allowing myself to your music was so strong
You don't look too happy to be going to America
It's not America
It's everything I leave behind
Until a few years ago I know only my field
The world for me started and ended there
in that little piece of the land
I never walked down the main street of a city
Maybe you can't understand but
I understand perfectly
I know someone who went through something very similar
And one fine day did his field go dry too?
And did his wife also run off with a priest?
And did the fever take his five children?
No. But he ended up alone too
Then he is more lucky than me
I still have a daughter The young one
She survived
And it's for her that I decide one day to fight against my bad luck
and travel all over without a destination
And then one day
when I go through one of the many towns I never see before
I come to a hill
And then I see the most beautiful thing in my life
The sea
The sea?
I never see it before
It was liek lightning hit me Because I hear the voice
The voice of the sea?
Yeah, the voice of the sea
I never heard it
The voice of the sea it is like a shout
A shout big and strong screaming and screaming
And the thing it was screaming was:
You
with shit instead brains
Iife is immense can you understand that?
Immense
I never think of it that way
A revolution was in my head
That's how I suddenly decide to change my life
to start fresh
Change life. Start fresh
Tell that to your friend
Nineteen Hundred
It's Max Tooney, your friend
Come on out, Nineteen Hundred! I'm your friend too
Even if we never met
Don't worry, no cops
You said something about a piano Where was it exactly?
We found it over there
Nineteen Hundred
On the violin yours truly, Bill Douglas
Tuba and bass, Freddie Loycano
Max Tooney on trumpet
And finally, on piano
Danny Boodman T.D. Lemon Nineteen Hundred
the greatest
For the last time Nineteen Hundred, just...
just the normal notes
End of the line
Where do yu get it?
What?
The music
I don't know. You see that woman over there, for example?
She looks like someone
who's killed her husband with the help of her lover
And now she's running off with the family jewels
Don't you think this music's her?
Damn, it's true
You see that guy over there?
He can't forget a thing
Listen to his music
His nead bursts with memories and there's nothing he can do about it
And look at that one there
She looks like a prostitute who's thinking of becoming a nun
That's incredible
Now, look at this one
See how he walks?
I'd say he's in someone else's suit
judging by the way he wears it
I'd say he's a stowaway slipped into first class
Iooking for an amorous adventure
This one's got America stamped on his eyes
I can already hear him screaming
America!
I'm going to get my money back
That'll be the day
Singleton, Lee Claire
You don't know me
But I was wondering if we could have a little chat
A little chat? What about?
About anything you like Weather conditions?
Anything You pick or chuck the subject
Is this an obscene phone call?
Christ
You the fish with the twenty-dollar name?
Man, where you going? We got to talk
That way
Wait, we just want to talk to you
Where the hell are we, man?
Hold still you little son of a bitch
Come on out! We don't want to hurt you
We're players, man! Sidemen
Bon appetie
You can say that again, brother You can say that again
You the one that plays ten kinds ofjazz rolled into one?
I've never counted them I'm just a piano player
Better start counting, buddy. The man who invented jazz sent us here
Really?
What does he want with me?
He challenges you to a piano duel
Jello Roll, what's the reason for a trip to Europe on a steamer
when you've never been on anything
bigger than a Mississippi riverboat?
I don't give a damn about Europe
The only reason I'm hopping this crappy tub
is because there's a gentleman I want to meet
They say he plays a hot piano
But I hear he has a little thing about setting foot on land
Is he talking about me?
You bet he's talking about you
He say, Hey, Jelly
Someone plays better piano than you
So I say to myself, Self how can this cat play so well
when he don't even have the balls to get off the goddamn ship
Hey, hot damn, Jelly
You invented jazz
I said, Goddamn you can afford a first-class ticket to Europe
and the boat that's going to take you
just by lifting a finger Get a shot of it, boys, get a shot
Tell the truth. Are you scared?
I don't know
Why a duel? What happens when you have a duel?
I hope this Jelly Roll Morton guy is as good as they say
Heard a lot about him back in the States
He's a Negro
I believe
you're sitting in my seat
You're the one who invented jazz, right?
That's what they say
And you're the one
who can't play unless you have the ocean under your ass?
That's what I say
(Franch)
Jelly Roll Morton did not play
He caressed those notes
It sounded like a silk slip sliding down a woman's body
His hands were butterflies so light
He got his start in the famed tenderloin districts of New Orleans
And did he learn to stroke the keyboard in those whorehouses
People doing the deed upstairs didn't want any uproar
They wanted music to slip behind the curtains and under the beds
without disturbing the passion
That's the kind of music he played
And in that
he truly was the best
Bravo!
Your turn, sailor
Come on
What's he doing?
"Silent Night"?
Isn't that a Christmas carol?
Does he understand it's a contest?
"Silenet Night" is jazz?
Is it Christmas already?
Come on, Jelly Roll show us what jazz is all about
What is wrong with you?
I can't help it. Music makes me cry
The whole crew bet on you I put a year's pay on the line
Now you cut that out and start thinking your music
Can I bet too?
No!
It's bad luck to bet on yourself
I don't want to bet on me. I want to bet on him. He's the greatest
You are crazy, you know taht?
That way, if you lose you'll get your money back
It's exactly the same piece of music, darling
This is really the end of the line
Unbelievable
Come on you can do better than that
Jelly, show them how to sink a ship
You stick this up your ass
Hey, Max
Give me a cigarette, will you?
You're not handling this well
Just give me a cigarette
You don't smoke
What is the matter with you? You could lick this guy with one hand
Come on
Are you going to give me a cigarette?
We'll be chucking coal a couple hundred years
and all you can say is...
Give me a fucking cigarette will you?
You asked for it, asshole
You smoke it
I don't know how
Jelly Roll Morton spend the rest of that trip locked in his cabin
When we got to Southampton
he got off the Virginian and went back to America
I remember Nineteen Hundred watched him as he walked off down the dock
and all he said was
Fuck jazz too
And that's just what he said "Fuck jazz too"
This is an incredible story
Did I miss anything important?
You couldn say that
Damn
Don't worry, our friend will fill you in later. Won't you?
You can count on it
Thanks He's so good at telling tales
This is no tale, sir
There's nobody here
Because there's too many of us We scared him
You leave this ship or I'll have to have you arrested
Get back to work. Quickly
Give me another chance
Piss off, friend. Noon tomorrow this ship is history
Stop or I'll shoot
Gotcha
Pops, easy, it's me
You again?
Yes, lower that cannon, will you?
See your instrument and then steal it back again
That's an old trick. I should have guessed that you were a thief
I was looking for this
And what do you need that for?
It's a matter of life and death And I need a phonograph too
A thief and a liar
Pops I don't have a whole lot of time
Well, I do! Seeing as I have a gun
And now that I think of it
since when were records made on board steamships
If that music was played by your friend
it means that at some time in his life he got off that ship! Correct?
Not a chance, pops
He cut this passionate recording personally
I think it's his best work
But he didn't jump ship to do it not even for a second
The sky's the limit Mr. Nineteen Hundred
If this record sells like hotcakes and we think it will
you'll go far, Mr. Nineteen
Do you mind if I call you Nineteen?
This is going to hurt, isn't it?
Ready now, gentelmen
On the count. And one, two, three
Nineteen
That is one amazing piece of music What is it called?
It's going to have people crying buckets
It's got to have the right title though, something catchy like
"Swinging in the Breeze" or...
Great, as usual
"Sweet Nineteen," that's it
You are going to be bigtime
And all you got to do is take that big step
What big step?
Getting off. Getting off these lousy planks of wood
and going after...
going after your fame and fortune
I don't mean to butt in fellas, but
with this you can have anything you want
and never have to set foot off this boat
We'll print millions of copies
so that people all over the world
can hear your wonderful music Nineteen
Mr. Nineteen?
I won't let my music go anywhere without me
No! Don't touch
What are you doing? You can't do that
We have a contract You can't go back now
I always go back
Darling what are you going to America for?
Miss
I'd be pleased if...
Miss
I'd be thrilled
if yu'd accept this...
small token
Miss Padoan, what are you doing here all alone? Counting the waves?
The captain said we'd be passing the Tropic of Cancer soon
Great! At least we'll have something to look at
You ever notice how the sea changes colors? Ten times a day
Even more
I could look at the sea all day long
You know farmers don't ever look at the sea
It scares them At least that's what I heard
That's not true
Once, my father told me he heard the ocean's voice
Really? What did it say?
I can't tell you. It's a secret And secrets should be kept
Gosh, it's really coming down now Let's get back inside
Let me take your arm
Women's dormitory 3 class
Next
Excuse me
Please, miss
I have to talk to you
You're meeting your father aren't you?
Yes
How did you know?
I think I've met him
On this ship
quite a few years ago
I don't know if he took this same ship
I'm sure of it
He has a musette
I think we played together
I don't know if he'd remember, but
say hello to him
I will
But how did you know who I was? It's very strange, no?
It's a secret
And secrets should be kept
Although I think your father felt differently back then
Please accept this...
small musical token
I'm sorry, but I can't hear you
I want you to...
accept this small token
I can't hear you
Good luck
Thank you. Good luck to you too
Why don't you come and visit us some day?
We live on Mott Street. Number 27
My father has a fish shop
Maybe
Padoan, okay. Next
Next
He never mentioned her to me again And I never asked
At least not for the next twelve crossings
Besides, he was happy just like always
His popularity was its peak
Then, one evening in spring
halfway between Genoa and New York right it the middle of the ocean
In three days when we get to New York
I'm getting off this ship
Cat got your tongue?
I'm glad
But all of a sudden?
My man...
That's aces
I've got to see something down there
What?
The ocean
You're pulling my leg
You've seen nothing but the ocean since the day you were born
But from here
I want to see it from there It's not the same thing at all
Wait till we dock lean over the side
take a good look It's the same thing
No, it's not
From land, you can hear its voice You don't hear that from a ship
What do you mean, its voice?
Its voice
It's like...
a big scream...
telling you that life is immense
Once you've heard it, then you know what you have to do to go on living
I could stay here forever
But the ocean would never tell me a thing
But if I get off live on land for a couple of years
then I'll be normal
just like the others
Then maybe one day, I'll make it to the coast look up, see the ocean
and hear it scream
I don't know who's been telling you this bullshit
or if you're just making it up
But you want to know what I think?
I think...
the real reason you want off this ship is the girl
It's always the girl
But even if it's not the reason that suits me just fine
Because I've always wanted you to leave this ship
and play for the people on land
and marry a nice woman and have children
and all those things in life which are not immense
but are worth the effort
You'll come visit me won't you, Max? On land?
Of course
That way, you'll introduce me to the mother of your children
And invite me for Sunday dinner
I'll bring the dessert and a bottle of wine
and you'll tell me I shouldn't have
and while you're showing me around your house shaped like a ship
your wife will be cooking a turkey
And then we'll sit at the table
and I'll tell her she's an excellent cook
and she'll say how you talk about me all the time
You know I'm going to give you my camel coat
You'll cut a fine figure when you get down there
How many people I have seen saying goodbye on the docks
without giving a damn
But when I said goodbye to Nineteen Hundred, it was a real blow
We laughed and kept saying "See you soon"
But inside we both knew we'd never see each other again
Goodbye, Nineteen Hundred! Take care
Good luck Have a good time
Take care Nineteen Hundred, take care
Write us a letter sometimes
Give my regards to Broadway
What'd he do, step in shit?
Maybe he just forgot something
Maybe he's forgotten why he's getting off
What do you want?
He was strange for a long time after that
He wouldn't talk to anyone
He preferred keeping to himself for days and days
He seemed taken by very personal matters
Then one day while I was sitting at the bar
Thanks for the coat, Max Fit like a glove
It was a real shame
I'm much better now I'm done with all that
Just like old times
I left the Virginian on August 21st, 1933
with my leave papers and back pay everything in order
I knew that sooner or later I'd have been through with the ocean
So that's what I did
I heard no more about Nineteen Hundred or the Virginian
Not that I ever forgot them
On the contrary
During the war I'd always ask myself
Who knows what Nineteen Hundred would do if he were here?
Who knows what he'd say?
Fuck war, he'd say
But said by me it wasn't the same thing
A lot of time's gone by, you know
who's to say he really didn't leave
Maybe he actually went to the fish shop and asked for that woman
Maybe
Conn
What's the matter? You lose your sea legs?
Where the hell did you find that record?
What have you been up to all these years
Making music
Even during the war?
Even when no one was dancing anymore
Even when the bombs were falling
And I kept playing
till the ship got here
Call this a ship?
It's more like a mountain of dynamite about to explode
A bit dangerous, don't you think?
And you, Max?
Where's your trumpet?
I gave it up as well, as while back
But, you know, now I'm in the mood for starting again
I'm busting with new ideas
Let's start a duo. You and me
Or our own band
The Danny Boodman
T.D. Lemon Nineteen Hundred Big Band
It's gets the blood going
We'd be a smash
Come on, Nineteen Hundred Come with me. Let's get off
We'll watch the fireworks from the pier
and then we'll start from scratch
Sometimes that's the way you have to do it
You go right back to the beginning
You're never really done for...
as long as you've got a good story and someone to tell it to
Remember?
You told me that
Well, what a stack of stories you got now
The world would be hanging on your every word
crazy for your music
Believe me
All that city
You just couldn't see an end to it
The end...
please?
You please just show me where it ends?
It was all very fine on that gangway. And I was grand too
in my overcoat
I cut quite a figure
And I was getting off
Guaranteed
That's wasn't the problem
It wasn't what I saw that stopped me, Max
It was what I didn't see
Understand?
What I didnt' see
In all that srawling city there was everything except an end
There was no end
What I did not see was where the whole thing came to an end
The end of the world
You take a piano
Keys begin
The keys end
You know there are 88 of them Nobody can tell you any different
They are not infinite
You are infinite
And on those keys, the music that you can make is infinite
I like that
That I can live by
You get me up on that gangway and you roll out in front of me
a keyboard of millions and billions of keys that never end
and that's the truth Max, that they never end
That keyboard is infinite
And if that keyboard is infinite then there is no music you can play
You're sitting on the wrong bench
That's God's piano
Christ, did you see the streets? Just the streets.
There were thousands of them
How do you do it down there? How do you choose just one?
One woman
One house
One piece of land to call your own one landscape to look at
one way to die?
All that world just weighing down on you
You don't even know where it comes to an end
I mean, aren't you ever just scared of
breaking apart at the thought of it?
At the enormity of living it?
I was born on this ship
And the world passed my by
But two thousand people at a time
And there were wishes here
But never more than fit between prow and stern
You played out your happiness, but on a piano that was not infinite
I learned to live that way
Land?
Land is a ship too big for me
It's a woman too beautiful
It's a voyage too long
perfume too strong
It's music I don't know how to make
I could never get off this ship
At best
I can step off my life
After all
I don't exist for anyone
You're the exception, Max
You're the only one who knows I'm here
You're a minority
And you'd better get used to it
Forgive me, my friend
but I'm not getting off
Hey, Max
Picture the scene at the Golden Gates
Some guy searching a list trying to find my name, not finding it
What did you say your name was again?
Nineteen Hundred
Niemann, Nightingale, Ninestock...
Nittledeen?
Well, you see, sir I was born on a ship
Beg your pardon?
Born, raised, and died on a ship Maybe I'm not registered there
Shipwreck?
Six and a half tons of dynamite Boom
Feeling better now?
Yeah, I'm fine except I lost an arm
An arm?
Yes, in the explosion
Well, you should be able to find one over there
Which one did you say you were missing?
Left, sir
I'm dreadfully sorry
we only seem to have two rights
Two right arms?
Afraid so
Would you mind awfully if...
If I want?
Well, if you take a right arm instead of a left?
Well, all things considered better a right arm than nothing, I suppose
Couldn't agree more
No laughing matter, Max
What a cock-up
Spend eternity with two right arms?
I mean, how would you make the sign of the cross?
Hey, Max
Imagine the music I could play with two right arms
Hope I can find a piano up there
What would you have done in my shoes?
I don't know
I wouldn't probably have felt quite useless
Sooner or later, all stories end
and there's nothing left to add
Anyhow, thanks, pops
Conn
There's just one thing I don't get
Who hid the broken record inside the piano?
You're looking at him
So you weren't so useless after all
Conn
Here
Take your trumpet
Well, you'll be needing it
Never mind the money
A good story's worth more than an old trumpet
Okay, pops